Caging the inner Grumpasaurus Rex

Good things come in three’s they say but what comes after the third?

We tip toe round corners, scaling walls and hiding in the shadows to avoid running in with the moment where our good luck comes to an end.

Everyone would agree that the universe could share out a bit more love, but sadly the most of us receive a disbursed sprinkling of luck across the year. Within the sieve of good tidings, grey speckles of negativity creep through the gaps and kill our vibes.

I always like to think that we all have that metaphorical spade that we use to dig ourselves away from bad situations to eventually take us to the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes the tunnel can go on for ages with no end in sight.

We all have bad days, but I’m talking those days when the heavens open and one big crap fest comes thrashing down – where every moment feels like a constant face plant on a slippery marble floor.

This occasion is no stranger to my life and can send me into one hell of a mood. Given, it takes a lot to put me in a bad mood but when I’m stuck in the grey clouds it can be very hard for me to see the positives. Food is my first go to, to give me that needed boost.

Everyone has that one snack or meal that they class as their comfort food which they clamber to the cupboard to find after the day from hell.

For me, nothing beats a Chinese take-away and without fail always throws me a rope to drag me out of the shit pit.

But hold up, we have a problem. One: I can’t justify paying for a take-away every time I have a bad day; and two: all those take-aways would definitely send me back to my chubs-ville.

My alternative broccoli and egg fried noodles will keep you, your bank account and waistline happy.


Now I can hear you already “Broccoli!? wow don’t spoil yourself too much” – but this is when I become a sensible Simon and plug the nutritional benefits of this dish.

Broccoli is rich in vitamin C that has been proven to boost mood along with energy levels and this mixed with the good old carbs in the noodles will fuel your body, getting your brain thinking straight and caging that Grumpasaurus Rex.

I’m even shocked that I have typed the above but sadly, I have to accept that mother goose actually knew what she was talking about when she forced me to eat my greens. Once again, another point adds to the mum v Colin score board *eye roll*

This recipe may not taste as good as your local Chinese but I can guarantee that you will feel ten times better for opting for this alternative. You might not feel an instant uplift but your insides will thank you for getting in some nutrients.

Costing pennies and creating two servings, this dish works well as a quick after work dinner and the following days lunch – but if you’ve had a shitemare of a day, you can tank this in one sitting.

So go on, give it a go and if I still haven’t sold it to you then at least I’ve filled approximately 3 minutes and 34 seconds of your day.

Ta, ta!

What you need:

  • 1 nest of dry egg noodles
  • 1 onion (diced)
  • 2 eggs
  • 3 cloves garlic (chopped)
  • 6 good sized flourettes of broccoli (thinly sliced)
  • 2 tsp mild curry powder
  • 2 tbs soy sauce
  • Splash of sunflower oil
  • Salt and pepper for seasoning
  • Drizzling of sweet chilli sauce (optional)

How to make:

  1. Bring a pan of water to the boil, add your dry noodles and cook for 3 minutes
  2. While you water is boiling, splash the sunflower oil to a wok and put on a medium heat
  3. Throw in the chopped onion along with the broccoli and cook gently
  4. Once the onion has browned slightly, add the garlic to the wok and continue to cook
  5. The noodles, should now be ready. Drain the noodles and add them to the wok and mix in with the onion and broccoli. You might find that the noodles will clump together and may be reluctant to mix with the vegetables. Try removing half of the noodles, mix the remaining amongst the vegetables and then add the rest of the noodles
  6. Season with the curry powder, salt and pepper and cook for around 2 minutes, continuously moving the contents around the wok (you may need to add more oil if you find your ingredients are starting to stick)
  7. Create a well in the centre of the wok, crack in the two eggs and cook
  8. Once the eggs have turned white, scramble and mix with the contents of the wok
  9. Finish by adding the soy sauce, mix and plate up
  10. For a bit more heat and stickiness drizzle some sweet chilli sauce over your noodles and dig in!

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